Questions That Are, In Fact, Frequently Asked
Is the lady in your icon you?
Mhm. :)
Can I use one of your posts in my class/organization/activism?
Sure! I allow non-commercial, verbatim copying of anything I post here. Just make sure to credit me and use my work only for non-profit purposes, and we’ll be good.
Why the title? Do you have other bloggish things?
When I first founded this tumblog, I had an LJ account, a DW account, and a WordPress blog. I only ever use the DW and this anymore, so the title doesn’t make as much sense as it once did. Oh well.
Why don’t you identify as feminist?
Because feminism, at least in its Western mainstream form, harms me and mine. That doesn’t mean that all feminists are bad; it means that, until feminism as a whole becomes more actively supportive of all women, I don’t feel comfortable identifying as part of it.
Can you elaborate on your conflicts with [some other blogger]?
Absolutely not.
Why do you criticize cis people so much? Isn’t that just as bad as cis people criticizing trans people?
Umm, no. Different power dynamic. Also, when I rant against “cis people”, I am not necessarily talking about you. If you don’t do the things I rant about, then it’s not about you, and you shouldn’t make it about you. And if it is about you… well, I ask you to think about what I’m saying, and try to understand where I’m coming from.
Why don’t you try to understand where cis people are coming from?
I do. I just don’t think it’s a free pass to be hurtfully ignorant.
I made a criticism of one of your posts; why haven’t you responded to it yet?
There are a few possible reasons:
- I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. Believe it or not, I do have a life outside the Internet, which means that sometimes I can’t respond to stuff as quickly as others would like.
- Your criticism is something I’ve already addressed, and I don’t feel like repeating myself.
- It appears to me that you are not engaging with the post in good faith, and are instead just trying to pick a fight with me. I don’t play that game anymore.
- You’re acting as if you’re entitled to my time/spoons. If you do that, I won’t really care what your criticism is; I won’t want to engage with you. Sorry, but that’s how it’s gotta be with me.
Are you aware that so-and-so disagrees with you about something you posted? If so, what is your response to that?
See above.
One of your friends said something busted. Why are you still friends with them?
Believe it or not, it often isn’t as simple as just cutting them out of my life. And frankly, I’m less interested in performing esjay properly for the Internet than I am in building relationships that are helpful and make sense. If you want to trust me less for that, that’s totally okay and I understand, but respect my boundaries as I respect yours.
What’s a TERF?
Trans-exclusionary radical feminist.
When you and/or your friends talk about “bullying”, aren’t you just trying to silence marginalized people?
Not at all. This is a discussion that’s been going on for a while, and while it does, err, question the usual methods of Internet Social Justice, it has nothing to do with silencing anybody. Again, if it’s not about you, it’s not about you.
How come you don’t do as much SJ stuff as you used to?
Because I’m overextended as it is, and I need to concentrate on work and school. Besides, just because I’m not doing it on the Internet, that does not mean I’m not doing it.
I’m a trans* person, and I want some advice on something. Will you help?
I’ll try — or, at the very least, I’ll try to point you to someone who can. My ask box is always open to trans* folks in need of a friend.
Will you be horribly creeped out if I tell you I want to hug/cuddle/kiss/sex you?
Most likely not, as long as you’re not an objectifying creep. :) (God, it seems horribly self-serving to have this question here. It is frequently asked, though, so…)
Why do you object to my calling serial killers “crazy”?
Because it’s conflating violence with mental illness. Not only is this ableist, but it actually obscures the real causes of violence.
I see that you’re trans. I don’t mean to be rude, but, umm… what are you?
I’m a woman. That’s all you need to know, even if it isn’t what you want to know. (Incidentally, if you truly don’t mean to be rude, you should not ask this question.)
How dare you criticize me? I have freedom of speech, which means I get to say whatever I want!
Umm, I have freedom of speech too. Which means I have the right to say what I want about stuff you’ve said. See how that works?
I hear that you are “the meme”. What’s that about?
Well, for a while, Garland and I had a habit of putting five questions at a time into Satah’s ask box (this was before Tumblr broke asks, obviously). One time, I put a different number of questions in eir ask box, and was like, “Oops, I failed the meme.” Ey replied, “No, Kiri, you ARE the meme!” And that stuck. …yeah, I didn’t say it was anything really interesting or cool, heh.
Team Awkwardsome?
I would like to e-mail/IM/Skype you; can I have your contact info?
Umm… maybe? Depends who you are. Send me an ask and I’ll consider it.
